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Fri Nov 23, 2018 12:11 am by Mattanite

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Tue Nov 13, 2018 5:55 pm by warrior9674

December 2018

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Nuclear War Rooms

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Nuclear War Rooms

Post by Scoop_McLeak on Sat Dec 02, 2017 1:11 pm

It's December, it's the official gift season, anticipation is at record levels and it's time for the old fellow in red to wobble down your way with unknown goodies that, as we all know, are the best things that could ever happen to you. That is, until you open them ..................

As is my generous nature at this time of year, here's a few tips before y'all go crazy and start picking 220Ib linemen, punters for their 'AWR' and WR's with hands as soft as prison walls:-

If your war room geniuses are reading this, you're in trouble. It's draft time, not draught time. Focus on the job at hand, if you haven't got a bead on at least 100 rookies before tomorrow - take up politics.

Don't let any other team know what you're planning for draft day. Never be honest, ask New england.

There is only one known accurate way to trade. Threats of physical violence. New York style.

Avoid the annual event that we experts like to refer to as the 'tortoise sprint'. That is, the run on big wide receivers at the bottom of round one. The only good 'possession' guy i ever saw was Pablo Escobar.

Draft round projections for each rookie are actually formulated by an early version of dwevans calculator: halve a player's height, multiply name laughter decibels, subtract everything and throw a dart at a dartboard.

The Draft Day movie is based on Hiero's Browns. 

It is obligatory in the SML to compose your draft block of players with massive cap hits. Never trade with someone who offers players with genuine value on their block.

Can someone trade some high round picks to Coach Zill. The world is a much better place with his explanations of why he drafted 60ovr players in it.

Copy the Cowboys draft scheme, they draft a stud at the bottom of round 1 EVERY. SINGLE. DRAFT.

Don't be the one guy who everyone laughs at. But be thankful the Seahawks have already opened up quite a lead by trading No1 for some back-ups and 'tortoise sprint' picks.

If the Chicago Bears get just 10% of their many picks right, they'll have dozens of nice rookies.

Regarding picking QB's high - be very careful. In the NFL all teams choose the hottest girlfriend first, alas, Madden doesn't have that option.

And finally, the most important scouting tip for drafting you ever need to know. Make sure you feel like you've peed yourself when it's over - everyone can see what happened, but only you get the warm feeling.

Enjoy the day gentlemen. I'll be waiting with the awards ........

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Re: Nuclear War Rooms

Post by dwevans on Sat Dec 02, 2017 1:40 pm

Well after that last paragraph we you got your surname from Scoop!

Brilliant as always. Amazed you broke the calculators code. Must have used the help of Alan Turing

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Re: Nuclear War Rooms

Post by Mattanite on Sat Dec 02, 2017 2:49 pm

Kaboom! Nice going Scoop. Bills war room ready to draft Huge Nice Wanger and Curry Willy to d!ck on the rest of the league.

Will think of a better signature later...

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Re: Nuclear War Rooms

Post by warrior9674 on Sat Dec 02, 2017 5:19 pm

nice poetry Scoop


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